27
May
dearest steven. steve. stevey.
i used to gaze at you from afar in the hallways of edward r. murrow high school. (fellow alum, MCA, also a JEW.) you had it all - the looks, the leads in the school productions, the charm… and the ladies always fawning over you (shiksa and jewess alike!)
then, and i remember it like it was yesterday, you sang some Jackson 5 song in some SING! production…and i was forever smitten.
in more recent years, you’ve gone on to obtain a PhD (can you hear the collective swoon of Jewish mothers everywhere?) and cohabitate with Dave Appelman — that in and of itself deserves an accolade. oh right, and become even more attractive if that’s possible.
and although i’ve heard you’re no longer on the market, i’m willing to do some negotiating (in true Jewish fashion) to make you my Steven Pludwin, PhD, CJB*
-Casey
*CJB - CuteJewBoy
