while you’re unbuttoning your gotkes to make room for the last of the sugar cookies from night 8, I give to you the epitome of a nice (cute) jewish boy: Matt Ritter.
Matt’s got a regular shtik at the Hollywood Improv in L.A. AND he studied LAW at UPenn. (i’ll wait while the collective swoon of Jewish mothers everywhere dies down.) He then combined these skills to help cofound comediansatlaw.com. oh and there’s his comedy web series, The Bottom Rung. then his recent Shape magazine piece. SRSLY? His list of creds is longer than the list of spellings for ‘hanukkah’!
Matt, I know you aren’t exactly single which is typically a requirement for CJB.com - BUT you aren’t married either so I hondled you a spot on the site. Ladies & gentiles, consider this your gift from Hanukkah Harry. xo, @caseypenney
sports fans! it’s been a while since we’ve posted a cute jew boy athlete. past hotties included fan favorite Benny Feilhaber and of course Ryan Braun.
it was well worth the wait, because I present to you the New York Knicks’ own Amar’e Stoudemire!! Amar’e is one of the NBA’s few jews, but what they lack in numbers he makes up for in looks. hubba hubba.
not to mention he visited Israel last year and has been quoted saying he wants to become a better jew. (we’ll ignore the tatt)
pick up your panties jews and jewesses, he’s the real deal.
Happy Hanukkah Night 7! xo, @caseypenney
Hanukkah Night 6’s eye gelt comes from fellow jew lover, Brianne D.
This 30 y/o man is a beaut and he is Dustin Hoffman’s son. That is all.
Your Jews for Hanukkah Nights 4 & 5 - Fred and Ben Savage! (I know I’m delayed, but I was in Bali, which is the SE Asian equivalent of Florida for New Yorkers over Xmas)
Fred AKA Kevin Arnold - damn, how hot did YOU get? Winnie Cooper had some foresight when she landed you!! Wikipedia also informed me that you’ve directed eps of Modern Family, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia and That’s So Raven! Hello, TOTAL package!
Ben AKA Corey Matthews - this former STANFORD grad still dabbles in TV & film now and again. And is S-I-N-G-L-E, ladies!
I think I speak for Jews everywhere when I say ‘thank you’ Savage genes, for being so shtup-able. xo, @caseypenney
happy 3rd night of hanukkah! this cute jew boy holds a special place in my <3.
meet Evan. if he doesn’t woo you with his spoken or written word, he’ll woo you with his uncanny ability to crunch single digit #s. he’s the total package, jewesses. bubbie will approve.
hanukkah. night 2. this guy. a jew & single. not just any jew mind you, it’s Spike fucking Jonze. he needs no commentary. just enjoy.
happy hanukkah, fellow chosen ones! you must’ve been extra good this year b/c we bring to you on behalf of hanukkah harry…the 1st of 8 cute jew boys in honor of the festival of lights!
so, looking tastier than an oily latke is a one mr. JAMES FRANCO. (Don’t be fooled by the name - his mother’s jewish. B”H!!)
james, you’re welcome for being our hanukkah night 1 cute jew boy. you can repay me with a game of Strip Dreidel. xo, @caseypenney
jewesses and gentiles, our latest CJB is not new to cute jew boys, oh no no. in fact Adam Levine was one of our first boychiks on the site. however, in light of his wrangling of a superior team for NBC’s The Voice, i thought it appropriate to post again in support of @TEAMADAAM.
if you can look past the shayna punim, he’s got it all….actually who cares what else he’s got. this man is stupid hot.
adam, we heard you stripped down for a recent Cosmo UK to raise awareness for testicular cancer. in the future if you need help with that cough test, i’m lending my services.
let’s make a Future Kid,
Shabbos is over! Have a Cute Jew Boy!
Ladies, Men & Gentiles - It’s Mr. Andy Samberg.
(You’re welcome, @StevenKlavier and Cassidy Curtis)
we’re celebrating every night of chanukah with a new cute jew boy (although I think we already missed a night, ahem, Sarah.)
and tonight’s cute jew boy is THE MAN, THE MYTH, THE MENSCH — a one Mr. Rob Hitt!
rob is all kinds of amazing. smart. funny. talented musically. talented non-musically. excellent speller. he basically epitomizes the type of guy you want to bring home to bubbe and zeide. and if you couldn’t tell, he’s nice on the eyes and smells great.
rob, i’d hitt that any day. xoxo, casey
p.s. - happy almost birthday, buddy!